Optimisticlly Pessimistic, Pessimistically Optimist
by Ms.Heilig
Summary: /Au Setting/ In an Attack against High School, Armin finds himself victim to an array of harassment. Though Eren tries his best to aid him, Armin refuses. Too bad that the situation is much more complicated than it seems. How could Armin allow his friend any closer with the feelings he has? And how could Eren just let things be when he cares a little more than he should...?
1. Chapter 1: Resistance

A dark night is accompanied only by the tapping of the rain on the awning. The dull sound of a pencil scratching away at homework is masked by the faint strum of a guitar airing from the radio. The room is lonely, as is the home. Out working his fingers to the bone, the blonde's grandfather rarely is home as of late. Though, he is not foolish enough to see this as a lack of care, but a sign that yet again he is a useless burden. He can't even help keep a roof over his head.

Pausing, Armin sets down his pencil and glances around the room. Barren as always, his only company is the radio and an ancient Dell desktop.

This is where the loneliness begins to set in. He imagines Connie with Sasha, out grabbing a bite to eat, Jean with Marco tailing his side with an array of followers. His mind then drifts to Eren, probably with his parents, Mikasa trying in a futile effort to convince him to do his homework.

And where was he?

Alone with his thoughts tantalizing him, reminding him that he is utterly useless and would be easily forgotten had he gone away.

However, he is strong another day. Instead of joining his parents, he leaves his homework unattended and crashes against the pillows. His eyes slip shut and a small prayer asks of the divines to allow him to forget his troubles in the Dream World.

Chapter One

Resistance

Around is noise. Wordless, toneless, just the constant chatters and yells from classmates. Armin can set on no one voice or sound in his dazed stupor. That is until a volleyball squishes with an airy pound just beside him. This rips him from his imageless fantasies.

"You could have put _some_ effort into it!" Jean snaps at the blonde.

He blinks dumbly before taking a step forward and capturing the ball nimbly between his fingertips.

"Sorry," He replies absently, though the tisk from between Jean's lips tells him that the apology was not accepted or acknowledged.

After a moment, the party rotates and Armin steps to the front where Reiner smiles curtly at his left-hand side.

"You 'couldda done it, I'm sure. Just an off day, right?" Reiner assures him.

The shorter gives a pathetic little grin and nods. "Yeah."  
Though a part of him doesn't think he could have even if he had been paying any mind. Whether it was lack of interest or lack of ability, he was unsure. He dubbed it as both.

X

"Just lay off!" Eren's yell vibrated through the locker room and he is sure that from the girl's, Mikasa can hear him.

"I'm only stating facts," Jean retorts as he throws his shirt over his shoulders. His tone is already bored with the situation. "Everyone can do it, he just chooses not to. It's pathetic."

Eren clenches his teeth and takes a few steps forward with his fists baled. From behind him, Tomas and Reiner grab at him. "You think you're so tough and you're always the one running away from a fight! Hiding behind words and you pick on people who can't fight back! Pick on someone your own size for once, coward!"

"You're not even my size, so…" Jean rolls his eyes before he struts away, Marco trailing behind.

The room laces with an uninterrupted silence. After their daily disputes, this seemed to be a far more familiar scene than it should have been. A soft sight comes from the subject and he whispers to Eren, "You didn't need to do all that."

The short blonde adjusts his gym bag over his boney shoulder as Eren's eyes take sight of him.

"Well someone needed to," He huffs as the two begin out of the room and into the hall which was crowded with overworked, young adults and adolescent teens. Some of which forgot that their bodies were growing and odors did as well. So this leaves the stagnant scent of sweat and colognes.

Armin's head gives a dissatisfied little shake as he allows icy eyes to mingle with caramel. He dares to speak on, "Let me rephrase: You _shouldn't _have."

The tone arises a little more forceful than Armin had intended however, it seemed to set the record straight. Eren falters a moment. Expecting a reprimand, Armin darts his eyes away and glues them to the floor. His shoulders sag low and he grips the strap to the shoulder bag tightly, his knuckles turning white.

"You don't," Eren growls out. "Someone's gotta take care of you."

"I can do it myself!" Armin insists.

He stops in his tracks even though people around groaned and complained. The blue pools that glared at Eren are about ready to spill over and even though Eren wants to yell and scream at him, he pauses. For once, he seems to think about his next step. As per usual, his emotions get the better of him as he rasps out, "Too busy fighting me."

He turns away from Armin and storms down the hall. The blonde steps forward, reaching out even though the other is well ahead of him. He calls out weakly to him, his eyes welling up even though he tries to blink the water away,

"Pick your fights. You're a smart guy but every time it matters, you never back yourself up! It's stupid! And every time you get hurt you ignore it! Will you just fight back a little – against the right people!? How do you ever expect to win when you don't even try!"

With each word, he gets louder, stunning the latter. Eren runs his hands through already disheveled hair in aggravation and he is too distressed to notice the other's hurt expression and the tears dripping down his cheeks. Though he hadn't taken note, the raven haired girl who had previously waited at the end of the hall does.

"Eren!" She hisses out in a reprimand. She doesn't need to ask to know the reason for the boy's easily-obtained tears. A deaf man could hear Eren's yells from a mile away. She also doesn't need to speak out any more for Eren to realize he is in the wrong. One would think that the oy who as known Armin for longer than anyone would be a professional at approaching him. However, popular opinions such as that are usually wrong. Especially since not a soul understands the true situation.

"Armin—"

She would have went forth with a pep-talk had he not cut her off.

"I-I'm going to be late," He murmurs before brushing pass the two, wiping the wetness from his skin.

They would never understand – no – he didn't want them to. His troubles weren't that pressing and there was no need in bothering them over pointless matters.


	2. Chapter 2: Little Talks

A/N: I'm not much for author's notes but, I want to thank you for reading in advance and to let you know that this isn't a fic that will grant immediate Shounen Ai or Yaoi, or whatever you're looking for. Though this is Eren/Armin, it takes a little time to get there. Thanks! ~

Chapter 2

Little Talks

The cloudy haze lingering about caused the dark class room to engulf in its own dreariness. It is not as if it needed this for the tasteless movie on cells has most of the class within Dream-land, and Eren nearly dozing. The only thing keeping him conscious is his day-dreams though they rapidly become imageless rambles inside his head. All of them swirling stuff inside his head hold one thing in common.

Armin.

He had been acting stranger than usual. Of course he is always one to be silent, always he was. However, he has never been reclusive, unapproachable. In the past, if he ever asked what the matter was, the other would sheepishly answer. That meekness has always been something he found, dare he say, cute. The way the other would blow up into red as he spoke to a crowd, or excessively use his hands when he had something absolutely profound to say, Eren's face broke into a smile and his heart skipped a beat. But, these thoughts were absolutely revolting and if anyone found out, they would think him a freak. And Armin? He would do the most intelligent thing and keep a constant distance of a mile away.

And though these feelings are strong, he couldn't fathem a way to help the poor blonde. For some unexplained reason when he reached out hand, it seemed to burn the one who refused to receive it. Perhaps he was growing tired of being burned, of being scolded and yelled at. Perhaps he was fighting the right battle by eliminating his closest and most frequent stressor, Eren himself.

He was only trying to send aid, what was the harm in that! Why wouldn't the other just accept it! He became so complicated over the past year…

"Eren."

The chocolate eyes that previously stared into the afternoon haze gaze upon the Asian girl now. "Hn?" He grunts.

"You keep dodging the question."

Though he knows full well of what she is speaking of, he opts to play the dummy. "What question?"

"What were you carrying on about?"

He gives out a short groan even though this doesn't deter Mikasa's curiosity. Her eyes search his as if she would find the answers in them. Though, they have always proved to be veils, always full of ambition and frustration no matter what the actual feeling in his head was.

"What does it matter?" He retorts.

"Exactly."

Her counter stumps him and he turns back to the tedious tale of a cell splitting. Instead of focusing on this, he opts for conversation, even though it's against his will.

"I just…" Eren sighs desperately. "I don't want to see him hurt anymore."

Mikasa blinks at him and out of alarm he begins to ramble like an old man spewing out his life story.

"He just doesn't fight back and it drives me crazy! Could avoid all of the shit he gets but he never does anything about it! I know he can! He just doesn't, Mikasa!" And when I try to help him, he shuts me out like I'm with them!" With a distressed snort, he rubs his temples. "He's never been this complicated before. 'Nd I don't get what's wrong with him."

The girl's face softens as she watches the other's episode. She pats his shoulder lightly in an attempt to support him,

"He just doesn't want to bother you. You know how he is." She tells him softly.

:Well I wish he wasn't," He retorts defiantly.

"Well he is."

"So what do you want me to do: Let them dump their shit on him?"

"Talk to him."

A silence sweeps pass the two before he questions her logic, "What?" He inquires as if it was the most insane request he had ever heard.

"You know freaking out at him gets you nowhere," Mikasa tells him evenly. "He's one for conversation. And you… Not for listening much. So try it out."

Eren turns back to the board then where the projector displays the credits to the movie. As they roll, he loses himself within them, as if the names of the conjurers of something so absolutely educational and tasteless had turned into his thoughts alone.

Talk to him. It sounds easy enough. It should be easy enough. Though, his gut lurches as if screaming out the reminder that it would not be. He's willing to take that chance though. No one else in the world seemed to want to sit down and help the boy but Eren makes it his sworn duty to protect him, to help him out.

Tomorrow; he vows to himself. Tomorrow he would take action.

xXxX

The orange orb in the sky dips low against the horizon, nestling between the homes and the far off silhouettes of buildings. Shadows cascade across the pavement though the only one on the left hand side of the sidewalk that depicts a human is Armin's own. Evenings like this are ones where he couldn't help but fancy a walk. The rain from the previous night chills the air and clears the night for the perfect temperature and humidity. He is even able to strip himself from the beige denim jacket, the cool air soothing his skin. He hadn't yet gone home to change out of his uniform for there was no reason to rush. His grandfather would be working well into the night yet again. Though it was days like this Armin enjoyed, walking laxly home after treating himself to buying a small dinner from the delicatessen a few blocks away. Over each month, he saves up pocket change and to be rewarded with the luxury is nice to say the least.

Hi eyes surf the sky, taking in the exotic shades of pink and yellow that invaded a once hazy sky. Though, patches of blue remain, hanging on to make a first and last impression on the day. Such sight-seeing relaxes him until incoming footsteps bombard the once peaceful moment.

"Out later than usual," Eren's comment arises before Armin can dart his eyes to the floor and fade into the secene as a mere link on the gate he walked beside. He perks up at the voice as he knows it to be a friendly one.

Armin shrugs his shoulders simply, "Nice day."

"Night," Eren corrects with a smirk as he nods up to the transformation in the sky.

In return, a tiny smile is granted and Eren savors it for a moment. He can do this, he reminds himself. The grin is the assurance he needs to go forth.

"Anyway, about today…" His voice comes out awkward, stiff even. This isn't his comfortable medium; of talking problems over and praying it would make something better. "I jumped the gun a bit."

"As per usual," Armin then replies with a wistful tone, to which the latter would have taken to offence had it not been put so sweetly.

"Hey—"

"Kidding, kidding."

Eren looks away then, having faltered for that moment. He wouldn't be beaten, he promised himself he would do this and by God he would! So as he rubs the back of his neck, he nods some. "Yeah, well, if you can do it… Why don't you?"

Armin allows his eyes to fall shut and reopen twice to depict his confusion on the subject.

"You said you can take care of yourself, so—"

As the shorter begins to recall, he begins a rebuttal. "What's the point?"

"The point?" Eren repeats incredulously. "What's the point? So they back the fuck off, Armin!" He lets out a short breath before recollecting himself though in that moment the blonde begins to speak again.

"It's more hassle than it's worth," He counters. "What's the point of fighting all the time, Eren?" He stops in his tracks, eyes pleading to him. "Not everything has to be a battle, and not everyone can make it be. If I say one thing and it turns into a fist-fight, you think I could defend myself? Not against Jean."

A silence sweeps through, though hardly a comfortable one. Armin then turns away from him, his steps leading him forward, showing the conversation is not a wanted on. Eren persists. Even though it was a day early, there is no way he can sit by any longer and allow Armin to ignore and bury all of his hurt inside.

"Armin—" He grips his wrist, tugging him back to himself. The other stumbles into him, catching himself with a hand on Eren's chest. He recoils immediately. "If you can't do it, why don't you take any help!"

The latter shakes his head slowly, slowly edging his wrist from the other's hand. "Shouldn't be your problem."

"I'm not trying to make this harder," Eren tells him flatly, taking in the other's indifferent expression. "Just trying to help you—"

"Please, just don't. There's no need, Eren."

Again, he tries to avoid the subject by avoiding the person though Eren grabs his wrist one last time, tugging him back. Taking the other's cheek, he turns his face to him, forcing those eyes that avoided him to take him in.

"You don't have to do everything alone. I'm your friend for a reason, you know?" He then lets the other go.


End file.
